Monday, February 13, 2012
him or him
two people. i like them at the same time.
dont know which one i should fall for.
dont know which one that will catch me.
two people, with no feelings for me.
i know but i just cant give up, to steal their hearts.
dont know which heart will match my heart.
dont know which fingers will fit mine perfectly.
really need something that can help me to decide.
which one i should fight for?
which one i should survive for?
i'm so confused.
mocha or c ?
like we used to
We used to talk many things.
We used to joke around.
We used to laugh so hard.
We used to spend time a lot.
Together.
I always waited for the break time.
To run down to your class.
Told stories about everything.
And you would sometimes touch my hand.
To measure which hand was bigger, you or me.
And when i let my hair down, you always said i was beautiful.
Now see, we stand on our own paths. awkwardly.
dont know how to start a conversation, dont know how to face each other.
i hear your voice, but i just cant turn back and say hi.
i see you, but i just feel i cant reach you.
we hide. we pretend we dont know each other.
we pretend everything you and i have said, every promises we have told, were never truly happened.
back then, i just didnt know why i should be lying,
i said i didnt like you. but actually i was so happy seeing you around me.
didnt know what to say, but just stayed by your side made the time moved so fast.
somehow i just didint know i would lose you. i was too crule and never care about anything beside my feeling.
well, i never truly cared about your feeling.
i abandoned you. for some selfish reasons.
didnt notice one day i would lose the source of my happiness. the one who truly cared and the one who always searched where i was.
i said everything i decided was for you. i thought i was so right but i didnt know i was already so wrong from the very first place.
i though you were happier if you were with her. i acted like i didnt care with my true feeling.
i acted like i knew everything.
didint notice one day i would regret everything.
i left you. for that girl, i left you.
i didint know it would end up like this.
i never knew everything.
doesnt matter how many smiles i've faked,
how many times i pretend i'm alright,
i just dont know either i'm truly happy or actually being sad.
well, i pretend too much in my life.
dedicate to someone who once touched my heart. C.
GOD GAVE ME YOU. remember that? :]
Thursday, February 09, 2012
random
when i have been good
i PROMISE
i'll ask you to talk, mocha
i know you like another girl,
i know you may hate me and forget about me,
and i know you dont need this promise either.
but why not? i really want to talk to you.
even you ignore me, i'll always find a way to talk to you.
a way to know how you are now.
because i believe,
we still have something left unspoken.
i know you like another girl,
i know you may hate me and forget about me,
and i know you dont need this promise either.
but why not? i really want to talk to you.
even you ignore me, i'll always find a way to talk to you.
a way to know how you are now.
because i believe,
we still have something left unspoken.
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Another Snapshots from Me
i'm not a photographer but i'm really into photography.
i like to capture, because people can change, places can change, but memory in the photos always remain.
well i know the quality of the photos arent really high, well that's why i really crave for DSLR so bad :[
anyway, hope you like it.
visit my gallery at deviantart @ http://beyondmiki.deviantart.com/
Sunday, February 05, 2012
just ask
oh really, what i'm actually hoping for?
i'm just kinda bored with this life.
a day comes, a day goes, another ordinary day waits.
i'm 16th, and waiting for something new.
something fresh, something that can make me nervous and amazed.
i'm tired of being good,
well how about pretending to be good in the school? pretending to be nerd and geek in that boring place?
then, get changing and be a mess in the outside.
sure it sounds fun and no one will ever imagine it.
i'm a mess and yeah i know.
i lie to themselves and to myself. i love lying so much.
i create such a drama and make them feeling sorry to me.
i'm making wounds and leaving scars.
i'm searching an exciting thing to do.
oh hey! i have a plan!
to you, mocha, i make a plan. i imagine if it would be so great.
well just wonder, will you join in my game?
i'm cruel, so do the world.
so why should be nice if we can be wicked?
you wont get hurt, you wont be sad.
Friday, February 03, 2012
iHate list
. darkness
. thunder
. ghosts
. bugs
. spicy
. people who easily judges
. very crowded place
. being alone
. being left
dia
and there this boy..
dia, yang udah sejak lama gua lupakan.
dia, yang nggak pernah lagi gua liad.
dia, yang ntah sejak kapan jadi sosok yang gua nantikan.
dia, yang gw kenal hanya lewat tulisan yang dia tulis di twitter.
dia, yang patah hati oleh seseorang.
dia, yang ingin gw dekati.
dia, yang ingin gw kenal lebih jauh.
dia, yang ingin gw bkin senyum dan ketawa.
dia, yang gw harap akan memberikan kesempatan.
you and i, by a chance.
you and i, with a chemistry and a right timing.
you, mocha. yes it's you.
and here i'm a loser.
i'm careless, i'm not confident.
i'm frequently angry, my mood swings.
i'm a total big mess.
i know, i dont need to wonder if you want to see me, if you want to be with me.
no one wants to struggle with me. no one wants to fight for me.
now answer, "who wants to be with a mess?"
even a dumb, does know the answer.
